Currently I am exhausted and not in my best mood :(
As often happens, Christmas has arrived in a swift and here we are, it is already the 24th! Things do not always go in the best way, this year has a been patchwork of mixed experiences, which I figured could have gone in a much different direction. Even at 45, shyness still plays a role in why I have not dared to come out with my books projects which lay in drawer waiting for the right moment to pop out, like the "modern things" in Björk's Hyperballad, but slowly aging like me. But other times just have to wait, because there is nothing more I can do, "it's not up to you", here another reference to Björk. At the moment, I feel trapped waiting for things to happen, on which I have no control. Waiting associated to overdoing has become an existential habit, there is always something to long for, which apparently takes the longest possible time to arrive, consuming my mind and energy. Anyway, the Christmas carol goes: so this is Christmas and what have you done? Or what are you doing? Hmmm not sure, but tones of stuff, and where am I heading, still not sure but towards too many directions. I was hoping middle age crisis would be over at 45, how long does it take? I guess the end of middle age crisis is another thing I would be waiting for, hanging there, like a depressive, acid Christmas decoration. Thank you for stopping by Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Bertie xxx
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AuthorFreelance illustrator and painter. Archives
May 2023
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