It ends in nothing - is the title of the 6th songs from the collection "Efterlignelser".
Before telling the back story of my illustration, I give you the link to a nice article on the book publication and I am proud to be named as the illustrator of the book: https://faa.dk/artikel/et-sangh%C3%A6fte-med-ti-nye-sange-til-unge-stemmer-er-komponeret-og-skrevet-af-balslev-birkeholm But now let's get back to the illustration for the song "It ends in nothing", a fire burning everything: "When you gather all your strengths and are sure to reach your goal create big headlines, o with non slippery sole; and you do not want to live before you have gathered the last things - ry to calculate your risk, nd it ends in nothing". Efforts, careful calculation, plans and big decision, it might all end in nothing: "expensive things and equipment [...] millions and billions it all always ends in nothing." I reflected a lot on this piece, I loved it, like Rakel from the second song it was very radical. It addresses teeanagers in a time when they are thinking and rethinking about their future, what is important to them and what they would like to achieve, at least I did... and my daughter is doing the same. The song approaches them unapologetically, not as children but as grown up with legitimate existential anxiety, no victimism, no mother-like reassurance. I remember feeling claustrophobic in the reality of my little town, Vercelli, not so much because it was small, but because of social conventions and lack of opportunities, everything seemed so confined and unimaginative. I was burning by the desire of becoming an artist, exploring the world, especially the Nordic Countries, going beyond the limited horizon of my town. And so I did. But there was fear, another fire was burning inside me: the fear of failure. I was not sure how to handle it, I knew only one thing: I did not want to get stuck because of fear, I had to try my strength in the world, even if I knew I was not the best. My strategy became to challenge myself, always, it paid off, but I became anxious, another fire was burning inside me again, it devoured me, until I became sick. I could not sleep, I had frequent headaches, acid in my stomach, I was as pale as I could be. I had to slow down, but I could not. These fires were devouring me, I was ending up in nothing for expecting too much of myself, more than I could handle. Yet as an adult, I am doing the same again, will I ever learn? ;) And for what? Who cares? We are passing through life and what do we get from there as in The Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody: "Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality" ... "Nothing really matters, anyone can see Nothing really matters Nothing really matters to me Anyway the wind blows" Or as the more easygoing Aerosmith in the song "Amazing" of a much lighter tone: "Life's a journey, not a destination". Nothing lasts, everything is subject to the destructive power of time and death. Personal detour a part, I think this is what the song is about, wanting and striving for something or even being greedy and too attached to things, to which we give too much importance, but then, it all ends in nothing. Everything is transitorios, nothing lasts forever. Nevertheless, material things and personal achievements in life and in our social spheres give us some sort of security that enables us to carry on. It reminds me of the Italian poet Giovanni Pascoli and his poem "La Vertigine" - "The Vertigo", which starts like: "Men, if in you I look, my fright grows in my heart. I voiceless and motionless see you immersed in the eternal wind You I see, still the small feet at the lotus, at the stones, at the grass of the aerial earth, abandoning yourself and hanging in the void" This is my improvised translation of the first two stanzas of the poem, one of the favourite of my teenage years. Hanging in the void is something we perceive that lead us to search for a corner of security, for Pascoli it was his family home, for many people it is religion, firm political beliefs on politics, health and beauty, study, career, money. For my for me it is my family, drawing and research. All these are nothing but inadequate answers to the void that we know is there, but we want to avoid it, putting our head under the pillow of daily, contingent and unnecessary matters. This song enabled me to explore a theme I sketched for the first time when I was a teenager myself, a fire-woman, burning bright as a result of her inner fires: her strength, wishes for the future, existential anxiety and fears. In this illustration, the motive has been recontextualised within the song frame, burning earth within the void that surrounds it. However, lack of uncertainty can be seen as an opportunity, if nothing is there or is fixed, it means we are free to create the reality we want for us, we make our own limits, we decide. The vertigo is always there, we need to befriend it, to get used to it, the void is the only thing that lasts, but it can also be freedom.
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Here a new post on my illustration work for the song book Efterlignelser, edited in Denmark by Dansk Sang. In this case I wish to give the backstory of a series of illustrations, all centred on the same topic from slightly different perspectives: life crossing paths. This theme is quite interesting in itself and has been explored in different media, in films Polish director Krzysztof Kieślowski with his masterpieces "Dekalog" TV series and "Trois Couleurs" has looked at the intertwining of people crossing each other as strangers, in some cases even interacting or getting to know each other. In the start of the film "Red", the third of the "Trois Couleurs" series, starts with an image of intertwined telephone cables and by following one of those cable, we are lead by the camera to the life of the main characters of the movie, who will meet the characters from the other two movies. In the dance work "Dances at Gathering" by Jerome Robbins, a work of non-narrative pure dance, five couples intertwine their love stories, dancing one after the other or sharing the stage. And of course there is more. In literature I think of Italo Calvino and his collection of tales "The castle of crossed destinies", a book I read about 20 years ago while a student in Torino, which tells the intertwined stories of different characters emerging from a deck of cards. I believe that the author of the songs lyrics in Efterlignelser managed to do a pretty good job exploring different takes on the theme. The first drawing that you see down here refers to a song named "Same Track". In the song two boys are waiting for a train on the same track at the station named "Udby Nord" which in Danish means something like "Outside Town North". It all seems to point to a daily, non-special situation, two boys, maybe students, waiting for their train, in the north periphery of a town. One looks at the other, recognizing his best friend, and then he starts wondering: What is he doing there? Will he take the same train? Their paths already crossed each other, will they continue sharing the same path? Or will they diverge? "But the first without hope, collapses with a scream". A series of agitated questions follow: "Where will help come from? Can it happen again that he will follow another possibility?" I interpreted this song as a story on existential anxiety, life paths of young people crossing each other, in schools, free time activities, walking in the streets, but what then? Will they meet again? Or share the same path for a while? Will they become friends? What will happen next? Will they make it along the way? Will they receive help? To me the song was about the uncertainty in life that we all share as we cross each other's path, without knowing what will happen next. The other people we meet have a mysterious, enigmatic aura, we are curious and interested in them even though in some cases we might be scared of them. The pressing questions towards the end of the song suggest to me this feeling of anxiety, fascination yet fear of approaching the others crossing our path. In my drawing I tried to represent the initial situation depicted in the song, the two boys on the same track, maybe waiting for the train. I represented the boys as young adults or teenagers, wearing sport clothes and backpacks, as if going to school or on a trip. Then I tried to suggest the uncertainty depicted in the following verses, regarding the uncertainty of the future of the boys' crossing paths creating a sort of one-point perspective, delineated by the lines of the tracks, converging towards a distant horizon and merging in the sun. The lines represent literally streets, paths or metaphorically multiple open possibilities in the life of the boys. The sun becomes in this way a ball of wool, in which all the different paths are converging. After having sketched the sun as a ball of wool I remembered the poem "Christmas" by Italian hermetic poet Ungaretti, one of my favourite since I was a child. The first stanza of the poem says: "I don’t feel like diving into the tangle of roads ..." In Italian, the expression tangle of roads was originally "into the ball of wool of roads". The second illustration refers to the song: "The first at last" which seems a twist of the Gospel of Matthew 20:16 KJV "So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen." The song revolves around a group of kids queueing at the cashier of a shop, knowing their place but participating in a race. I have imagined the kids competing against each other as in a marathon race across a supermarket to reach the cashier. I have drawn the layout of the supermarket as if it was fading to an olympic stadium, with the white lines defining running lanes and crossing each other, suggesting the theme of crossing paths. The last two drawings refer respectively to the songs: "Awake, for no one knows" and "Home again" the last song in the collection. These songs are similar to me in structure, as both deal with wandering around, without a fixed plan, but in the end a destination appears to the wanderer.
In the first of the two songs, the lyrics start with: "Wake up, for no one knows the time or day. Be ready to drive, there is no plan. / Live your life your were trusted, fill it up everyday...Take and fill up your oil lamp, keep it close and ready." The first words suggest a challenge in the unknown, no time no space is given to know. It took me a while to decide how to tackle this song, after a few sketches on paper and on my tablet, I decided to focus on the oil lamp and the care elements of the song as given means of security in the wandering travel. The oil lamp illuminating your path and the car leading you fast wherever you want to go and protecting you, as a exoskeleton against the unknown. To represent the unknown I drew an empty green space, suggesting a dense woods, at the same time, green is a positive colour suggesting hope, so I did not want the wandering to be hopeless ;) The oil lamp is located a little off-center to give a slightly more dynamic composition, than if it was spot in the center. The oil lamp is a reference of safety and it brightens up the empty green space around, so that the green turns toward a reassuring warm yellow close to the lamp but fades into a dark bluish green while distancing from the lamp. I traced a few lines suggesting the contour of the light generated by the lamp, suggesting that these almost crossing lines are a possible path to take, indicated or created by the lamp. I then added a red car, which is driving following the lines. I drew the car red because red is a warm and energetic colour, suggesting the trip ahead and some optimism towards a destination, moreover, red is complementary to green, giving a strong contract between the uncertainty communicated by the empty space and the safety communicated by the car. I added a little firefly, the only living creature visible, to suggest that we all wander but we are not alone, someone is always with us in our travel. The last song, "Home again", talks about a wanderer who lost a coin and left home with the goal to find it again. The song starts with the voice of those waiting for the wanderer to come back: " In the middle of January you left. (I-we) miss you terribly here but - will you come back home again?/ Search your lost coin, Have you had a good start? Hope that you will find it - and soon come home again." I imagined the coin as a metaphor for an inner journey of self discovery, to find your true self. In my drawing the home and the coin are establishing the center of the composition. The coin is a bit off-center, to create a dynamic composition and it is in the foreground, suggesting that it is the focus of the journey. Flowers are surrounding the coin, suggesting that some time has past since the beginning of the journey. The home is placed towards the background, to suggest that it has been abandoned, yet there waiting to be found again. It is a cozy yellow home with flower bushes, to suggest that no matter how nice and safe your home could be, we all need to face our fear, go towards the unknown and find ourselves. The journey is to my eyes a metaphor for self-discovery and growth, facing risks and challenges across the multiple paths that we need to take in life, suggested by the diverging alleys centred around the coin and passing by the home. |
AuthorFreelance illustrator and painter. Archives
May 2023
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